PSYCHIC VIOLENCE

What is psychological violence?

Psychological violence will often occur as repeated attacks against a person's integrity, safety, dignity and self-esteem. It manifests itself as both verbal and non-verbal acts, and despite the fact that this type of violence is often overlooked, psychological violence is actually the most common type of violence. It can have fatal consequences for the victim, which is why it's important to reach out for the right help, advice and guidance - especially if children are involved. On this page you can read more about psychological violence.

Do you need help with psychological violence?

If you are unsure whether or not you are a victim of psychological violence, our professionals are always available for a confidential and non-binding conversation - 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There are no inquiries or questions too big or small for us, and we are not here to make decisions on your behalf or to condemn you for your situation. On the contrary, at Ellestedet you will always be met with understanding, sympathy and competent advice.

What is psychological violence in relationships?

For most people, a relationship starts as a whirlwind romance where life feels like a game, where you're safe, happy and filled with butterflies in your stomach. And it's okay that it used to feel like that, but maybe those butterflies have now been replaced by unnecessary worries and stomach aches. Sound familiar? Then read on.

Are you a victim of psychological violence?

Psychological violence can take many forms, and below we have tried to gather a number of examples that you should and can be aware of if you are unsure whether or not you are experiencing psychological violence in your relationship.

They are equally named here on the right →

In the examples below, we describe a number of scenarios that can be signs of psychological violence. You may not recognize yourself in any of the scenarios described, but if you do, we encourage you to seek help and counselling. This way, you can get competent professionals to clarify a non-biased and objective picture of your current life situation.

Psychological violence is when your partner:
Isolates you from the world around you

Controls your behavior

Threatens self-harm, harm to you, harm to your children or harm to a third person

Degrades your personality and appearance

Blames you for the abusive behavior

Forces you to keep the psychological violence a secret

Loves and hates you at the same time

Examples of when you are a victim of psychological violence

Isolation is psychological violence
Isolation is the first step in breaking another person down, and it can happen without you even realizing it. Isolation is an incredibly powerful tool that, in the long run, can make you completely unaware of what's happening in the real world. It also limits your ability to tell the outside world about what you're going through, and this state suddenly becomes the new normal. If your partner often talks down your friends or family or creates unnecessary conflicts between you and those around you, it can create a misunderstood and distorted image that your partner is the only one who can and will spend time with you. It becomes a state where you don't feel like you have a confidant in your circle, and this is where it starts to get dangerous.
If your partner is trying to isolate you from the outside world, seek help.
Control is psychological violence
If your partner exerts control over you, this is also psychological violence. It is similar to isolation, as we described above, as control equally restricts your freedom of movement. Excessive control makes you unable to make decisions for yourself in the long run. If your partner, without your consent, goes through your private messages, emails or belongings looking for "evidence", decides who you can see and talk to or dictates how you can dress, this is very controlling behavior. The excessive control makes you unsure of who and what you can trust, and you slowly end up acting the way your partner wants you to in order to avoid the unpredictable consequences.
If your partner is controlling you, seek help.
Threats are psychological violence
A threat is a statement that you will do harm if you don't get what you want. In a psychologically abusive relationship, the threats will come from your partner, whether it's your partner, you, your children or a third person - either way, it's psychological violence.

Threats from your partner may include threats to seriously harm themselves or, in extreme cases, commit suicide. These types of threats are typically triggered by the fact that you may have expressed a desire to leave your partner.

Threatsagainst you may include your partner threatening to physically harm you, share private photos or create malicious rumors about you if you don't do as they say.

Threats aroundyour shared children could include your partner threatening to harm the children or take the children away from you as punishment for something you did that your partner didn't approve of.

Threats around a third person could be your partner threatening to harm a person who in one way or another has something to do with you in your daily life. It could be a work colleague, a good friend or a family member who has come into your partner's spotlight.

Regardless of the nature of the threat, it creates an unsafe environment where you constantly fear for your actions and the consequences of these. These are often empty threats, but the constant uncertainty will be psychological terror for you to live in.
If your partner threatens you, seek help.
Degrading behavior is psychological violence
If your partner humiliates you, talks down to you, constantly criticizes your personality and appearance or calls you names you don't like, it's psychologically abusive for you to listen to. It may be a method your partner uses to keep you in an uneven power relationship, and you end up believing you're not good enough in the long run. This psychologically abusive behavior will confirm that you are worthless and that the only one who can and will love you is your partner - in the same way that isolation has this effect.
If your partner belittles you on a daily basis, seek help.
Blaming you for the abusive behavior is psychological violence
Blaming yourself for the abusive behavior is similar to the belittling behavior we described above, as it gives you the misguided impression that you are not good enough and are the cause of the problem. This can be expressed in phrases such as: "If you didn't do x, then I wouldn't have to do x", as this sentence justifies your partner's abusive behavior while emphasizing that your behavior is the problem. Another way to look at it would be to say: "If you just change yourself and your behavior, there's no problem". This behavior unconsciously forces you to constantly correct your behavior, and you end up believing that your authentic self is the cause of the psychologically abusive behavior.

It also makes you keep the psychologically abusive behavior a secret from the world around you, as you don't want others to find out how bad a person you really are - because no good person deserves this behavior, right?
If your partner blames you for their psychologically abusive behavior, seek help.
When your partner switches between hot and cold, it's psychological violence
Security is the foundation of many healthy relationships, so it can be a psychological terror to be in a relationship where you don't know if you're in the thick of it or out in the cold. If, out of the blue, your partner becomes emotionally distant and in (almost) the same moment loves you unconditionally, it creates an unsafe situation for you to be in. Since it's emotionally draining for any human being to be pushed away by the one they love, you'll be constantly chasing unconditional love. You'll suddenly find yourself going to great lengths to make things right.

Are you living in a mentally abusive relationship?

At Ellestedet we are ready to help you
All of the above examples of psychological violence are some of the symptoms that you can and should be aware of if something in your relationship suddenly doesn't feel right. There is no shame in asking for help, and at Ellestedet you will only be met with great understanding of your situation. We don't judge you for the situation you find yourself in, but rather help you make the right choice for you! Our experience tells us that the sooner you get out of an emotionally abusive relationship, the better.

When is it psychological violence?

Being a victim of psychological abuse and living in a psychologically abusive relationship are two very different things, and it's an important distinction to keep in mind when reading about psychological violence on this page.

Mental abuse

If you are assaulted by a complete stranger - for example, in line or on the bus - you will most likely, and quite naturally, experience this as a psychological assault. It can be an extremely uncomfortable experience when a stranger enters your intimate sphere without your consent. It's really important that you talk about it with a confidant so that the experience doesn't become a fear of waiting in line or riding the bus.

Mentally abusive relationship

If you live in a psychologically abusive relationship, the abuse happens on a daily, weekly or monthly basis and infiltrates your daily life, your work life and your leisure time. You will slowly lose your confidence and self-esteem and ultimately find it difficult to trust your own judgment.

Symptoms of psychological violence

As a result of a psychologically abusive relationship, you will most likely develop symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In addition, you may/will experience sleep problems, anxiety, crying spells, hair loss, digestive problems, chronic fatigue and difficulty taking care of yourself and your children.

Get free from psychological violence

Report psychological violence - what options and rights does a victim have?
At Ellestedet, we know that reporting psychological violence against your current partner or ex-partner can be extremely difficult. Especially because it is a taboo subject, often difficult to put into words and associated with a huge fear of the consequences. If you need help or would like to know your options and rights, you can read more about how to report psychological violence on the website of the Public Prosecution Service.
Mental violence is a criminal offense
Back in 2019, psychological violence was criminalized with a special section in the Criminal Code. It reads as follows:

§ 243. Anyone who belongs to or is closely associated with another person's household or has previously had such an association with the household, and who repeatedly over a period of time subjects the other person to grossly degrading, insulting or offensive behavior that is likely to unduly control the other person, is punished for psychological violence with a fine or imprisonment of up to 3 years.
Signs of psychological violence - get a legal aid lawyer
If you have reached the point where you want to report psychological violence, it is a good idea to ask for a legal aid lawyer. A legal aid lawyer is free of charge and can give you the right advice and guidance regarding the applicable legislation and the further course of action. This is done in parallel with the police investigating your case.

How do I get out of a mentally abusive relationship?

The first step out of an emotionally abusive relationship is to say out loud what you are being subjected to. It may seem like the most uncomfortable thing in the world and you may fear the consequences, but the alternative of staying is much worse for you and your children in the long run.

At Ellestedet, we always recommend that you contact us if you need help or if you just want a listening ear. We are here to help you.

DO YOU NEED HELP?

CALL NOW: 51 15 65 66

We are a temporary home. A women's crisis center for women and children who have experienced violence.

You can contact us - around the clock.

We listen to you. Together we will find out if a stay with us is a good solution for you. We can give you advice and guidance on what you can do in your situation.

We can help you with legal assistance, help you clarify your employment, career or challenges at work. We can help you with visitation arrangements or anything else that may weigh heavily on your close relationships.
I et voldeligt forhold er det ikke kun de fysiske skader, der forårsager den mest langvarige smerte. Økonomisk vold er en skjult form for overgreb, der kan have dybtgående og ødelæggende konsekvenser for dem, der udsættes for det. Men hvad er økonomisk vold, hvordan manifesterer det sig, og hvordan kan Ellestedet hjælpe dig, hvis du er fanget i et mønster af økonomisk kontrol og manipulation? Læs mere på ellestedet.dk#ellestedet #kvindekrisecenterfyn  #voldmodkvinde #økonomiskvold
Honor-related violence is a dark and complex issue that affects many communities globally. It is a type of violence that is deeply rooted in tradition, culture and social norms and particularly affects women and young girls.Honor-related violence is a broad term that encompasses various forms of abuse and oppression carried out to protect a family's honor and uphold traditional societal norms. It includes:Forced marriagesSocial control in relationships and familiesReproductive journeysEmotional blackmailCentral to this form of violence is the concept of "honor," where the family's reputation is dependent on the behavior and conduct of family members.#Ellestedet #women's shelter #honor related violence #honor related conflicts #honor related violence and control
"Ellestedet has meant everything to me. I have really gotten professional help. I have been protected. My stressed-out body has been given time and peace to calm down. I have been pampered with food and massage, and the staff are there for you night and day. I wish that those who are sitting at home in an abusive marriage dare to take the step to come here"From a woman ❤️#Ellestedet #kvindekrisecenter #liveftervold #kvinder #kvindekrisecenterfyn
Today is Women's Day, and of course we celebrate it at Ellestedet in our own quiet way. Country singer Maj-Britt Nikolajsen from Funen will stop by with her guitar and her warm voice to soften our hearts. The music reminds us how strong we are when we support and help each other in a difficult time #Ellestedet #IWD2024 #InspireInclusion #kvindekrisecenterfyn #supportwomen
Are you a good hairdresser or do you know someone who is? We are looking for a volunteer hairdresser who will come once in a while and trim the locks of the women who stay with us for a longer period of time and who therefore need a little work on the outside to feel better on the inside.  If this is you or someone you know, we would love to hear from you #Ellestedet #hairdresser #women's crisis center #volunteer #contact #kvinderkrisecenterfyn
Our graphic designer has been busy decorating the office corridor with reading material about the spiral of violence, the different forms of violence and what values Ellestedet stands for in our work to empower women to live a life without violence. #Ellestedet #women's crisis center #livudenvold #women
We wave goodbye to another woman and say thank you for being the right place for her to hibernate.Now she has been celebrated with cake and clapped out the door by us and all the other women at Ellestedet. Much stronger and happier than when she arrived #Ellestedet #Thank you #vitakkerdig #kvinderkrisecenterfyn
Last Friday, we went on a journey towards the sun in the heliotropic universe in Module 5 of the program, which is also part of the project of the same name: A natural approach to working with vulnerable people. This time, light was shed on how a positive and constructive ontology and habitus is the necessary driving force that makes it possible to work persistently, caringly and effectively in relational/social work, including with the knowledge and tools that have been in play in the previous modules. We gained insight into our thought streams, negativity bias and how to actively influence the brain to think more positively and constructively. All of this is crucial when working with other people, as well as for the work environment and, of course, your own well-being and development as an employee/person. It was intense, thought-provoking and relevant. We ended and left with the feeling of having opened up something very important, which now needs to be allowed to grow stronger and stronger. We are now looking forward to 6 months of exploring the themes from the 5 modules and slowly integrating it into our work at Ellestedet, for the benefit of our residents.Together with our partner Natur og Eksistens, we will continuously update from this process via SoMe, but if you are more curious about the program and the project it is part of, you are more than welcome to contact us. #Ellestedet #Women's Crisis Center #krisecenterfyn #naturogeksistens
GET

HELP

NOW
menucircle menu linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram