Anyone who has tried to move on from a relationship knows that it can often be a painful and slow process. However, most people also know that time heals all wounds and that everything will eventually be okay again. However, if you have been a victim of psychological violence, the time after the abusive relationship is often filled with guilt, shame, anxiety and many also experience symptoms of PTSD. In other words, you're not just carrying around a (relationship) grief, but a deeper crisis in your life that you may need professional tools to process and eventually move on and get back to your own life again. You have the right to live a happy life, and we want to help you move forward.
At Ellestedet Women's Crisis Center, we help both women and their children move on from a life with an abusive partner. At our shelter, we have the best professionals, including licensed psychologists, and in this article we will provide concrete advice on how to move on if you have been subjected to psychological violence.
A new relationship after psychological violence
Moving on from an abusive relationship can be overwhelming, as the psychological violence tends to follow the woman everywhere she goes. So, it's not just a partner you're saying goodbye to, but a whole way of being in life. The woman may feel that they have lost touch with their inner compass, the compass that tells them whether they are on the right path or not. If it failed once, why shouldn't it fail again? And they may also feel less worthy and have a completely wrong self-image, as their abusive partner has repeatedly belittled, controlled and manipulated them into believing they are not good enough. Let alone good enough for another partner.
These are just some of the thoughts and experiences that many women struggle with when trying to move on from an abusive relationship. That's why we've put together five concrete tips for moving on from a mentally abusive relationship. We always recommend seeking help if you are a victim of psychological violence. It's never too late to choose your own happiness again.
Five concrete tips for moving on after a relationship
Create distance from the abusive partner
The first step in moving on is to create distance. We recommend that you turn off and block all communication on your email, phone, social media and text messages. Moving on from an abusive relationship is a bit like breaking an addiction. Your abusive partner's behavior has been so pervasive in your life that you have become dependent on his acceptance and attention. Distance is therefore the first step to taking back control.
Use your network
As part of the psychological violence, your partner has most likely isolated you from your network, but if you reach out and ask for help, you will definitely get it. So talk to people you feel comfortable with and trust and tell them what you've been through. They can be your best support in the early days - both if you fear being alone and if you need help with practical things like childcare or moving house.
Seek knowledge about what you have been exposed to
We also recommend that you talk to a professional about what you have been exposed to. This will help you understand the mechanisms that have broken your inner compass and confirm that you are not alone. Doing so in consultation with a professional can ensure that you filter the information correctly. Reading about what you've been through can be overwhelming, and because you're in a vulnerable position, you may find it difficult to distinguish between reality and fantasy.
Use a diary to vent your thoughts
In the same way that a to-do list can provide an overview, keeping a diary can be a great way to get your thoughts off your chest. We recommend that you write down all the incidents you can remember from your time with your abusive partner. By making it concrete, putting it into words and then writing it down on paper, you can suddenly take control of it again. This diary can also be a great tool for you and your psychologist to use when talking through your experiences.
Recreate yourself by writing down your good qualities
And last but not least, you need to slowly rebuild your own self-esteem. This will come naturally as you re-establish your network and everyday life, but a concrete tool is to write down the good qualities about yourself that you had before you were caught up in the abusive relationship. By having it in black and white, you can set a goal that you want to get back to being the person you remember yourself best.
Are you a victim of psychological violence? Get help today
At Ellestedet Women's Crisis Center, our phone is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. This means you can always get in touch with us if you need urgent help or if you need advice on your next step. We see you where you are and we don't judge you for your life situation. Reaching out takes courage, and we are only grateful that you will let us help you get back to the happy life you and your children deserve.
I fredags fejrede vi Karin`s fødselsdag. Vores alle sammes kære Karin.
Karin sørger for og hjælper dermed alle på krisecenteret med friske flotte buketter, der stimulerer til vores alles sanser.
Hun sikrer at alle værelser er omklædt i kærlighed, således at de står skinnende og lækre til når kvinderne flytter ind.
Har en kvinde brug for hjælp til at få noget nyt tøj, siger Karin straks ”det vil jeg gerne hjælpe med”
Karin har et varmt og kærligt hjerte for alle. Tak for dig, Karin
#Ellesetdet #kvindekrisecenterfyn #fødselsdag #kage #ellestedetkvindekrisecenter
Studiegruppe møde er aldrig kedeligt, især ikke når det handler om at være løsningsfokuseret.
En af studiegrupperne mødtes i formiddag på Cafe Niogtres @ni69tres til læsning og snak om at implementere den løsningsfokuserede tilgang i vores arbejde med kvinderne.
#ellestedetkvindekrisecenter #ellestedetetstedforkvinderogbørn #løsningsfokus
Fredagens undervisning med Natur og Eksistens @naturogeksistens , på Modul 3 af vores uddannelse, var med overskriften: Æstetik, symbolik og narrativer. Der var fokus på æstetikken som en vigtig del af vores erkendelsesgrundlag; på symbolikken som en hjælp til at udforske, begribe og kommunikere om det komplekse i livet; og på narrativet som en helt afgørende faktor for vores evne til at udvikle os. Som altid var der et fokus på genkendelighed i eget univers, for som professionel at kunne skabe en effektiv bro og indsats i arbejdet med beboerne på Ellestedet. Undervisningen veksler mellem de helt store eksistentialistiske perspektiver, viden på området, det direkte erfarede og sanselige, og så det professionelle perspektiv, hvilket netop er den røde tråd der gør det levende, interessant, relevant og brugbart. Vi glæder os til næste modul der omhandler cykliske processer i livet.
#ellestedetetstedforkvinderogbørn #ellestedetkvindekrisecenter #naturuddannelse
I et voldeligt forhold er det ikke kun de fysiske skader, der forårsager den mest langvarige smerte. Økonomisk vold er en skjult form for overgreb, der kan have dybtgående og ødelæggende konsekvenser for dem, der udsættes for det. Men hvad er økonomisk vold, hvordan manifesterer det sig, og hvordan kan Ellestedet hjælpe dig, hvis du er fanget i et mønster af økonomisk kontrol og manipulation? Læs mere på ellestedet.dk
#ellestedet #kvindekrisecenterfyn #voldmodkvinde #økonomiskvold
Vi elsker at læse vores bog med beskeder fra vores kvinder ❤
#EllesetdetKvindekrisecenter #støtkvinder #tak
Ellestedet has been to a very special event at Great Place To Work, an organization that helps companies create a great workplace culture with their innovative solutions, employee surveys and cultural analysis. Great Place To Work is a global organization that specializes in evaluating and recognizing workplace culture and employee experience.
Companies that achieve high marks in Great Place To Work assessments are often recognized and certified as "A Great Place To Work". This certification can help them attract and retain talented employees and improve their reputation in the industry.
On this special night, they announced the winner of Denmark's Best Workplace and we'd like to share the result with you!
We are very proud to announce that we have won #4 in the 20-49 employees category
#Ellestedet #kvindekrisecenter #greatplacetowork #DanmarksBedsteArbejdespladser #DanmarksBedsteArbejdespladsNo4
Two days of training with the fabulous Anne-Marie are over for now. Our heads are full of inspiration, knowledge and desire to work with women in a way that gives them full ownership of their own lives. We are not the experts to solve their problems in one fell swoop. We trust that they can do it themselves. We're more of a questioner: "If we pretend your problems were already solved, what would your life look like?" Dansk Løsningsfokuseret Institut / Danish SF Institute
#Ellestedet #kvindekrisecenter #inspiration #kvinder #liveftervold #danskløsningsfokuseretinstitut
Honor-related violence is a dark and complex issue that affects many communities globally. It is a type of violence that is deeply rooted in tradition, culture and social norms and particularly affects women and young girls.
Honor-related violence is a broad term that encompasses various forms of abuse and oppression carried out to protect a family's honor and uphold traditional societal norms. It includes:
Forced marriages
Social control in relationships and families
Re-education journeys
Emotional blackmail
Central to this form of violence is the concept of "honor," where the family's reputation is dependent on the behavior and conduct of family members.
#Ellestedet #women's shelter #honor related violence #honor related conflicts #honor related violence and control
"Ellestedet has meant everything to me. I have really gotten professional help. I have been protected. My stressed-out body has been given time and peace to calm down. I have been pampered with food and massage.
The staff are there for you night and day. I wish that those who are sitting at home in an abusive marriage dare to take the step to come here"
From a woman ❤️ ❤️
#Ellestedet #kvindekrisecenter #liveftervold #kvinder #kvindekrisecenterfyn
On Friday we start a new cycle in the world of nature existentialism, in collaboration with the company Nature & Existence. This is with the first of 5 modules in an education that is part of a larger project of the same name - A Natural Approach to Working with Vulnerable People. The project runs until the beginning of 2025. We look forward to revisiting and diving deeper into the themes, and to our new colleagues becoming part of this process. On Friday, we will dive into the senses and their importance for our well-being, experience of the world and development.
If you are curious about the program and the project, you are more than welcome to contact us.
#Ellestedet #women's crisis center #naturofexistence #women
Like all good families, the Ellested family has also eaten their fill and been happy this Easter.
#ellestedet #kvinderkrisecenter #påske2024 #kvindekrisecenterfyn
"You are pressured to not focus on yourself. You stop even existing. He controlled everything. Even which way to stir the cup."
This is what Anette said when she and her helper Rasmus stopped by Ellestedet the other day to talk about how she broke out of a mentally abusive marriage that lasted for over 50 years. Ellestedet has a special meaning for Anette because it was here that she "came to life". Here she learned to send an email, stir the cup in the way that suited her and, not least, she learned to have friends and people close to her again.
Anette comes to Ellestedet three more times during the spring and talks about her way out of psychological violence.
#Ellestedet #kvindekrisecenterfyn #violenceagainstwoman #psychicviolence
Today is International Women's Day, and of course we celebrate it at Ellestedet.
Karin has decorated with fresh flowers in the vases. Mick has baked banana cake and Erling has hoisted the flag.
Maj-Britt is here with her guitar, singing songs written by female artists. The music reminds us
how strong we are when we support each other. Happy fight day!
#Ellestedet #IWD2024 #InspireInclusion #women #women #women's fight day
Today is Women's Day, and of course we celebrate it at Ellestedet
in our own quiet way. The country singer Maj-Britt Nikolajsen from Funen will stop by with her guitar and warm voice to soften our hearts. The music reminds us how strong we are when we support and help each other in a difficult time.
#Ellestedet #IWD2024 #InspireInclusion #kvindekrisecenterfyn #støtkvinder
Are you a good hairdresser or do you know someone who is? We are looking for a volunteer hairdresser who will come once in a while and trim the locks of the women who stay with us for a longer period of time and who therefore need a little work on the outside to feel better on the inside. If this is you or someone you know, we would love to hear from you.
#Ellestedet #hairdresser #women's crisis center #volunteer #contact #kvinderkrisecenterfyn
Our graphic designer has been busy decorating the office corridor with reading material about the spiral of violence, the different forms of violence and what values Ellestedet stands for in our work to empower women to live a life without violence.
#Ellestedet #women's crisis center #livudenvold #women
We wave goodbye to another woman and say thank you
because we were the right place for her to hibernate.
Now she has been celebrated with cake and clapped out the door by us
and all the other women at Ellestedet. Much stronger and happier
than when she arrived.
#Ellestedet #Thank you #vitakkerdig #kvinderkrisecenterfyn
One of our residents paints beautiful pictures, which came to light at a small vernissage.
#fernisering #Ellestedet #kvindekrisecenter #kvinder
Last Friday, we went on a journey towards the sun in the heliotropic universe in Module 5 of the program, which is also part of the project of the same name: A natural approach to working with vulnerable people. This time, light was shed on how a positive and constructive ontology and habitus is the necessary driving force that makes it possible to work persistently, caringly and effectively in relational/social work, including with the knowledge and tools that have been in play in the previous modules. We gained insight into our thought streams, negativity bias and how to actively influence the brain to think more positively and constructively. All of this is crucial when working with other people, as well as for the work environment and, of course, your own well-being and development as an employee/person. It was intense, thought-provoking and relevant. We ended and left with the feeling of having opened up something very important, which now needs to be allowed to grow stronger and stronger.
We are now looking forward to 6 months of exploring the themes from the 5 modules and slowly integrating it into our work at Ellestedet, for the benefit of our residents.
Together with our partner Nature and Existence, we will continuously update from this process via SoMe, but if you are more curious about the program and the project it is part of, you are more than welcome to contact us.
#Ellestedet #Women's Crisis Center #krisecenterfyn #naturogeksistens
Around 13 children and their mothers had a great time today with a cat's cradle party.
#Ellestedet #fastelavn2024 #kvindekrisecenterfyn
Mental fitness and physical fitness. You can spend your time at Ellestedet doing a little bit of everything. If you want to.
#ellestedet #kvindekrisecenterfyn #pyskiskfysisk
What kind of life do you want?
At Ellestedet, we meet each woman with the belief that she has the resources to change the difficult life situation she is facing. She may need a little help to dig them out, but they are in there somewhere.
In our conversations, we focus on what she wants more of. What kind of life does she want? How can we help her see the solutions to her problems instead of dwelling on all the negative experiences from the past that no one can change anyway.
The woman is already changing her life for the better by going to the shelter. It is precisely this process that we try to support by identifying and reinforcing the moments in her life where she has actually felt competent. Maybe she was good at protecting her children from the violence. How did she get the strength to do that? Maybe she was actually able to get her children to school every morning despite the difficult circumstances. How did she manage to do that? If her self-esteem is at 2 out of 10, what is it that makes her actually at 2 and not 1?
By drawing parallels from the good experiences she has, where she has actually mastered something, to her current life situation, we can help her identify her competencies and strengths. The woman is the one who knows herself best, and therefore she often has the solution to many of her challenges.
Our theoretical foundation is the solution-focused approach, because we believe that this method is action- and future-oriented. The conversations inspire hope. It is a method that centers around the life people want rather than focusing solely on the bad things that have happened. This doesn't mean that we don't acknowledge the difficult, but we always look for what is present rather than what is missing.
#ellestedet #solutionfocus #kvindekrisecenter #kvindekrisecenterfyn
A space for laughter and play
Once a week, mothers and their children have the opportunity to participate in mother/child play with a trained educator. The aim is to create a space where mom forgets for a moment that she is in crisis. She may not be fully present in her daily life and therefore not fully present with her child. Perhaps she doesn't have as much energy to play and laugh as she would like. The child, on the other hand, has an unregulated nervous system, which is affected by the mother's condition and the experiences she has had. But the desire to play is still intact.
In this room, we try to create a loving space between mother and child that strengthens their relationship. We sing, fool around and play games that the children know. The mother laughs, smiles and sees her child, who loves that she has the time and desire to play and have fun. In this way, we try to create positive experiences between mother and child during a difficult time. Moments that are so important for the child's emotional development and for their connection with each other.
#ellestedet #women's crisis center #contact #children #krisecenterfyn
